11/5/20
What It Is
Every morning around 6:30 a.m., after completing my “Upon Awakening”* ritual, I stumble into the bathroom to wash my face: three soggy washcloth soaks of really warm water followed by five dousings of really cold water. As I repeatedly drench my cheeks with the stabbing cold, (which for me is torturous given my reptilian preference for warmth), I silently repeat one of my mantras (a special recitation used in meditation), “svaha,”-- “so be it” in Tibetan.
Many of us have invested months of time, energy, enthusiasm, confusion, despair, anxiety and even alienation over the course of this grueling election cycle; we made the last proactive choice by casting our vote. As we brace for the final results, however long they take, we’re now faced with a reality as shockingly brutal as my morning water ritual: The ultimate outcomes of this election, for better or worse, are out of our control. To maintain (or perhaps restore) our sanity and well-being, we’d do well to embrace the popular modern version of my Tibetan mantra: “It is what it is.”
Most are familiar with the modified “Serenity Prayer” popularized by 12-step recovery programs. It feels exceptionally relevant right now:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Learning to navigate with greater ease around what we can and can’t control is a common presenting issue for many of my clients at Journeys to Healing. It taps into the fundamental Buddhist goal of cultivating “equanimity.” Mindfulness teacher/author Christiane Wolf, M.D., Ph.D., describes equanimity this way:
“Equanimity is being willing and able to accept things as they are in this moment
whether they’re challenging, boring, exciting, disappointing, painful,
or exactly what we want… [It’s] like the eye of the storm, the calm center,
that is grounded in the knowledge that everything is constantly changing
and much of it is out of our control.”
Equanimity is multi-faceted and there are numerous ways to grow and strengthen it. Self-esteem, compassion and forgiveness… trust and resilience—all these enhance our ability to confidently and comfortably balance doing with non-doing. In our modern world, it’s a worthy, even necessary, journey.
May I, we & all beings find increasing ease with controlling what we can, accepting what we can’t and learning to recognize the difference.
My best,
Deb~
Journeys to Healing
* “Upon Awakening” is one of numerous self-care rituals I teach clients. When practiced regularly, it can greatly enhance the trajectory of one’s day and encourage well-being on all levels--mind, body, heart and spirit.
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